The days of the one-income family are fading. But the following story resonates with many of us. Hubby earned the money and his wife stayed home and raised the children. Then hubby retired with no plans for his future. Meantime his wife has over the years built life-long personal interests.
The husband, feeling lost, looks for options such as:
• “Where are you going dear? Can I come too?”
• “We can do the shopping together now”
• “Why do you do it that way dear? I know a better way”.
Personal space has disappeared. The relationship is being tested and each is individually facing problems about their future.
In fact, the problem is the same for a dual-income relationship. Research shows retirement-related stress is felt more by the wife, not just at retirement but if the problems are not addressed, more so as time goes by. Men to note!
Enjoying life after work revolves around the freedom to express your authentic unchanging inner self.
Start by each of you separately listing every type of interest you love, especially those you enjoyed before you met. Discuss how you might each help the other expand their interests.
It’s another reason for planning well in advance of quitting work.
Thanks for writing this, Peter
I used to consult with large companies. I observed this phenomenon:
Man, Bob, works 30 years for one company. Realizes one day that his DB pension won’t grow after the 30 year mark. He does a little rough calculation and says -65% of this income is still a heck of a lot of money. Bob might be 50, 60, or even 65. He decides to retire. Company has a big send off party. I attend as a consultant he;s worked with. Bob has a big party at home with all his friends and neighbors. People at the company are talking about Bob’s party for weeks. Bob retires.
A year goes by. I get another project at the company. Who is on my client team team? You guessed it, Bob! He’s back as a “consultant,” with one client at 50% of his old salary pre-rated. What happened I ask?
My wife didn’t want me “hanging around the house.”
Alan