There has been a lot of messaging over the past few weeks about authenticity. Well, in my space, there has been. Why? Maybe I am at the stage of my growth where I, too, want to be more me and authentic. However, yesterday, I heard one leader in the industry say they would rather piss other people off and be authentic to themselves.
Wow! Wow, because it hit me in the chest. My first response was YES! But as I thought about what was said, other parts clearly said no way.
Now, this is the beauty of authenticity. It is the opening, an opportunity to explore ideas shared by others, what they say through their filters, beliefs, experiences, etc. and test if it is also true for ourselves.
What hit again was that this morning, through the service, the same message was being said, admittedly from a slightly different angle.
Be authentic, be Christlike, be love, loving, accepting others where they are at, with the least amount of judgement (we are human after all), and be faithful to the inner calling of your Spirit Guide and Oneness.
For me, the singular message or similar thread between these two takes on the idea of authenticity is to be true to ourselves—to our values, what is important to us at our core, and what will create harmony within so that love and connection are shared wider. Yet, how many of us, will choose and then claim “Hey, what is your problem? I’m being authentic, so your upset is on you!”
Again, there is an element of truth in this. Yet, I can’t accept the idea that we, as individuals, are meant to be inconsiderate to others along the way.
For instance:
- To do what we want at the sacrifice of our loved one’s needs, and them asking for help and or refusing to honour commitments made to each other.
- To push through and override other people’s feelings without discussing things with them and coming to some level of agreement or negotiation.
- To feel our rights, needs, and roles are more important than others, so we ignore others’ struggles and fears and expect them to behave or choose like we would.
- Ignoring others’ routines, norms, values, and beliefs and considering them as insignificant.
- Refusing to explore others’ thoughts, ideas, and reasons and being closed to other ideas.
There are many more ways we can knowingly or unknowingly choose hurtful ‘authenticity’. If our genuine and authentic self consists of even the small list above, then I will leave it with the individual, but first, ask them…
“Is this how you want to be seen by others?”
“Do you want to be hurting, being inconsiderate, and rude to people you say are important to you?”
Are you even aware of what you do, and are you open to hearing other’s experiences of interactions with you, or is your need to be singular and ‘right’ more important than working within a group, especially your family or friends you have chosen?
Coming back to the beginning…. Authenticity is about being real and genuine. But what are the genuine character traits you choose to live by? This becomes the North Star question!
By what do you want to be seen, heard, felt, and remembered by?
For the person with an unexamined life, more than likely, it is doing whatever they think is right, driven by their past rules, expectations, and norms taught to them when young and reinforced as they grew up. Yet, for about 95% of the population, what we learnt from our forefathers has stemmed from fear, control, pain, coercion, brute force, cajoling, teasing, put-downs, and expectations. This, too, is understandable as our parents also learnt dysfunctional ways of living and relating.
But, and this is the big but.
As adults, with so much information, resources, and social change available to us, we are now more than ever asked to become authentic, from a conscious choice based on whom we choose to be and more so ideally steeped in love.
What does love and this idealistic view potentially look like?
As written in the 1 Corinthians, v 13 (4-7)
“Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
For those who want to push back against “the Bible,” I ask you to re-read the passage again, and again, and consider how many other spirit texts say the same message. Love, and how it is expressed is the core of all of them.
Again, I ask, How do you want to interact with yourself and others, and in what regard do you want others to hold you in regard?
As a self-serving, insensitive, highly focused, and apathetic person? Or one who chooses to and actively seeks to be in harmony (authentic) with self and others?
No, I agree. Being authentic and based on unconditional love is a challenge, yet if we aim to think, feel, choose, and be from this innate part of our being daily, life, love, and experiences will surely be so much richer.
