Many of us may have exciting stories to tell about how we first learned of God. But, Dr. Anne Worth’s story is about how she ran from a fire-breathing, vindictive God for years. However, in the end, His Love won and she embraced Him and has never looked back at her difficult childhood except to see how far she has come with the help of the Lord.
I had the pleasure of previously interviewing Dr. Anne Worth, and writing an article about her published here on BIZCATALYST 360° concerning her long and winding journey in search of God after a life of abuse, fear, disappointment, and abandonment. Her discovery of a loving, forgiving God culminated in the writing of her memoir, Call Me Worthy.”
Two important things happened in church that was traumatic enough for Anne to run from God for most of her life.
At age four, Anne went to church with her grandmother, her favorite person on earth at the time. Ann tells the story in her own words from her book, Call Me Worthy.
“All dressed up in my best sandals, a puffed sleeved dress, and lace-trimmed bonnet-all in pure white, I was ready for my first church visit. Brilliant orange-and-yellow daylilies decorated the church altar. The pleasing fragrance of those flowers wafted out to greet us as we walked up the steps into the church building. The stained-glass windows cast hues of many colors around the sanctuary. The singing lifted me right up toward Heaven. I was spellbound, every one of my senses stimulated.
After the songs, a tall, dignified man solemnly rose from a high-back chair on stage. He raised a tattered black book high in the air, and after a poignant moment of silence, he sternly spoke. ‘This is the Good Book. This book is about right and wrong, good and bad. And you better choose right.’
He bowed his head and earnestly pleaded with God to keep the congregation from sinning and for the blood of Jesus to save them all from hellfire.
He mentioned good works and lost sheep. I was wondering about the sheep and the blood when suddenly the man slammed his hand down on the lectern so loudly that it startled me. He spoke in a thunderous voice, and what I heard frightened this bad little girl. He spoke with such authority that I didn’t doubt a word he said. His message was bad news: God hated filth. And when we sinned, we became filthy rags that disgusted God. He warned us that if we didn’t stop sinning, God would throw us into hellfire where we would burn alive forever. I was shaking.”
After going to church for that first time with her Grandmother, Anne saw God as a fire-breathing, vindictive, raging, punishing God. She didn’t go back to any church for ten years, which was easy because her parents didn’t go to church.
But Anne did not give up on searching for and finding a relationship with God.
Her second trip to church was at the age of thirteen. She visited a church that seemed very different. There was no yelling and no mention of hell at all. Dr. Anne Worth describes the scene in her own words from her book Call Me Worthy.
“It was like suddenly I was their best friend.” Dr. Anne Worth said. “And a missionary told us we would have beautiful feet if we went all over the world and invited people to church.”
At least, that’s what the young girl Anne thought. She finally felt like she had a Christian “job description.”
But when she brought a boy to church who was different from the people who attended that church, her parent’s phone blew up with judgment and criticism.
In essence, Dr. Anne Worth was “uninvited” to be one of their church members.
One of the reasons Dr. Anne Worth wrote the book, Call Me Worthy, is she feels the church can be its own worst enemy. She says, “As Christians, we must get to know the people who are sitting next to us in the pews, we must do more than smile and welcome people at the door. We have to provide the comfort and safety they need within the walls of the church.”
Dr. Anne Worth goes on to explain her pain.
“Deeply hurt, I wanted to defend myself, but everyone I knew in the church had judged me. What had I done wrong? I brought a lost soul to church. Isn’t that what the missionary told all of us to do?
If one person had come forward to counsel me, the next forty years of my life might have been very different. I needed help, but I received judgment and condemnation. I didn’t understand church or Christians. They seemed like mean, self-righteous-bullies.”
“I wanted nothing more to do with God or anyone associated with him.”
Dr. Anne Worth found consolation from other kids who didn’t go to church. She learned to drink and smoke and do whatever would make her popular. She was as clean as the driven snow when she left the church, but it wouldn’t be long before this girl, who had struggled to be good, would enjoy being bad.
“I was only 13 years old.” Dr. Anne Worth said.
Today Dr. Anne Worth holds a master’s and a doctorate degree in counseling psychology. She has been in private practice for almost 40 years. She is an author and has contributed to many publications and her blog listed on her website @ https://dranneworthauthor.com/ And as an author in the soon to be published book Sacred Stories of Transformational Joy: Crappy to Happy she will be a contributor to BIZCATALYST 360 Magazine. Watch for her column.
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Watch for Part 2 of Call Me Worthy when Dr. Anne Worth continues and shares her long search for God.
Reference: Call Me Worthy, Dr. Anne Worth, author; Independently published (December 16, 2019)
Jane Anderson, you are so right. And, isn’t it so reassuring that God never gives up on anyone. It is my hope that people who have suffered as Dr. Anne Worth has will read her story in this article and her book and embrace God, too. Thanks for your comment.
People learn who God is through those who work to do His Will in all things. God never leaves us, He is always there waiting for those who continue to search for HIM. That’s the salvation of the soul itself. Loved this.
Lynn Forrester, you are so right. God is always there waiting for us during our search for Him. He never pushes Himself on us but is waiting with open arms. Thank you for your comment.
Sadly, That is the experience of many people who are introduced to a perfect god by imperfect people. We are all imperfect. It must grieve God greatly when people who claim to know Him act like they are equal with Him. My motto has been: Live your life in such a way that those who don’t know God will want to know God because they know you. I am thankful that Dr. Anne Worth did not give up on God We know that he would never give up on her.