Long-term anger affects your nervous system, liver, gall bladder, and your brain. You can become hypertensive, depressed, volatile, even forgetful. People become mean-spirited, bullies, and descend into woeful acts.
Anger is a waste of time. I say that, have written about it and stand behind it. However, anger does some good in your life. It lets you know that you are alive. Not depressed, not laying around in bed all day, but alive. It is a beginning. A reminder – anger has a spectrum, going from irritability to rage.
To create a plan to move away from angry people is the best tactic to take.
Rage does no one any good but being irritated or frustrated or dismissive or critical is still a sign that life is within.
If there is someone in your life that comes close to enraging you, end that relationship. If it is a co-worker, find another team to work on or get promoted out of that team. If you can handle being polite and respectful, you are home free. It can also be difficult, especially if the one who stimulates your rage is a close family member. If a family member is on your radar, avoid small group celebrations, except if in public.
You can do this. No one says (and who cares if they do) that you had to accept rage in your life.
Be sure you know the difference between frustration, irritability, and rage.
Anger stems from underlying, unresolved issues that are triggered by hot spots. It is also when that person angry has not listened carefully and responds without really listening at all. We have to take the time to hear, listen, process and respond. Great article Joanne.
Thank you Lynn Forrester-Pitocco for your insights and wisdom regarding my article on anger.
You are correct in stating when the person is angry it is because they have not listened to what is being said; this person thinks they know what is being said based on (sometimes!) referencing what they know about the person or occurrence. No time to process, certainly.
A very valid topic, Joanne. People who are angry do not usually realize how much mental and physical pressure they are spreading around them. They are basically immune to the feeling. I try to catch myself if I get into that loop of frustration to look at why that is. Sometimes it is an inherited behavior, an example from a long-gone time we need to let go.
I tend to endure anger from others to the extend I can and then move on if the situation is not temporary. Health takes a physical toll that is not worthwhile.
Thanks, Maria. Anger gets in the way of everything that could be good. As you do, I put up with anger a bit nowadays, much less than before in my life. Anger uses up so much energy and not in a good way. The more we let go of anger, the better off and healthier many of us will be.
When we are angry we cannot solve problems. Ideally, we should focus on finding ways to resolve them, instead of acting angry.
In moments of discussion we must take time to listen to the other person and also to think about our answers. Maturity will encourage us to avoid conflicts, especially with toxic people, regardless of how much we love them. It is necessary to always remember that, keeping calm, looking for our inner peace and feeling able to face situations, we can easily manage these emotions that so many problems can cause.
Thank you, Aldo, as to your comments regarding anger – even the word itself sounds hard and cruel – gets in the way of communicating effectively as well as stunting personal growth.
Thank you, Aldo, as to your comments regarding anger – even the word itself sounds hard and cruel – gets in the way of communicating effectively as well as stunting personal growth.