Entrepreneurs, CEOs, and business owners are already familiar, on some level, with how to get out of their comfort zone. Running and starting a business is no easy task. However, staying “comfortable” often leads to dissatisfaction in life. So why does this happen? Fear.
Fear is going to be the core of stagnation and feeling stuck. This could be fear of failure, fear of success, fear of financial risk, fear of not being good enough, or fear of not being capable, to name a few.
Statistically, only 8-10% of the general population meet the goals they set out for in a year, and roughly 90% still dream about the goals they’ve never met. Since staying in the comfort zone of life is rooted in fear, self-sabotaging behavior takes the driver’s seat.
95% of our brain is subconscious, long-term memory. You’re only using 5% of your brain (consciousness) for those reading this right now. Self-sabotaging behavior isn’t something people realize they are doing, but the same patterns, disappointments, and frustrations always show back up. Here is some typical self-sabotaging behavior in leadership:
- Procrastination (instead of meeting that deadline, rearranging the entire office)
- Fear of criticism or feedback
- Dwelling on mistakes and staying stuck in the past
- Feeding into negative beliefs about self
- Self-doubt and second-guessing decisions
- Refusal to seek help/support
- Rationalizing or making excuses for unhealthy behavior
- Not setting boundaries with self or others
- Not communicating expectations
- Choosing what is comfortable over what is healthy
This list will hit hard for many. These behaviors keep you stuck but “safe” in your comfort zone. If you want to go bigger, better, and go after the kind of life you want, it will involve discomfort but freedom on the other side. As a therapist, I know there is no quick fix to anything. The work must be done, but I’m not talking about “bandaid” work like brainstorming a list, focusing, and creating an action plan. If that worked, people would already be doing it. Remember, we all walk around with 95% of our subconscious brain in the driver’s seat. Therefore, we must make the subconscious conscious. I’ve created a seven steps plan to begin to do this work and have a lifestyle change, not three months of change:
- Facing your past: taking a look at the impact of experiences ( your’ past is present whether you like it or not)
- Understanding how your life experience impacts your role as (a leader, partner, parent, friend, etc..)
- Identifying personal self-sabotaging behavior & imposter mindset
- Identify negative (subconscious) beliefs of self
- Creating an accurate and adaptive belief of self
- Learn to operate out of new belief ( brain optimization through new ways of thinking, behaving, performing, and accountability)
- create a specific personalized plan for growth in your business and personal life
This may sound like “too much work.” Only 20% of people will be willing to do that; It’s just a matter of if you want to be that 20%. As the famous psychologist, Carl Rogers said: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I change.”