I am not talking about the presentation of you, and who you want others to see you as, I am talking your inner radiance. Is it on full shine, or are you holding back? My guess is if you are anything like most of us, the dim is on.
The thing is, we tend to be afraid to shine. More so than to fail. Way more. Like me, brought up to believe showing my talents, my passions and my drive was a bit over the top. Held down by those who were conditioned to stay smaller.
So, you see being afraid to shine and show the world the very best side of YOU might be what you were brought up to do. Holding back your talents, your passions, the good, the bad AND the ugly. Never realizing you can be proud of every aspect, and that only through shining your true color will you be happy and able to serve your very best. Happy people contribute to positive actions.
From my work as a Coach, I have found these common reasons why we hold back and hide our true expressions:
#1 Criticism and judgement: If you are a pleaser, you will HATE this. Not being able to please everyone. You need people to like you. If you shine, they might not like it. If you take too much space, they might see you and judge you.
Being judged and criticized by others have nothing to do with YOU. It is all them. When you show your true and authentic expression your energy level might trigger in THEM what they don`t want to acknowledge.
#2 Fitting in: This is a huge one for many. You might hate the idea of being different, of what people might think of you, of not being a part of the crowd, of standing out. It is easier to play small to fit in than to shine your own ideas and blessings. If you shine, you will be different.
You will no longer be like everyone else and THAT is a true blessing, embrace it.
#3 Being alone: When you embark on your own path you might have to walk alone for a while. Being alone can be a scary thing and stepping back to feel community can feel tempting. To lower your own standards and even accept that people or situations step on your mojo is easy to do when you are afraid to be alone. Note that loneliness and being alone is NOT the same thing.
If you shine, you will be alone at times, but you never have to feel lonely.
#4 Responsibility: Yes, here it is. Being your most amazing self requires that you take full responsibility and ownership for your actions and life. No-one to blame. THAT is a victim game. By claiming your grandness, you realize you cannot hide. If you shine, you are the BOSS. We tend to hide behind the curtain of blaming others for our mistakes, for why we couldn’t, why we shouldn’t etc. Others and situations.
When you step up and embody your full potentials you have to own it all. Scary at first, but more than anything FREEING.
#5 Being vulnerable: This is a tricky one. Being powerful makes everything real and authentic. No masks, no hiding. Others will see the real you. Shining makes you vulnerable, and to most people that is very uncomfortable. Being seen for who you really are will set you up for all of the above scenarios and ultimately lead to you breaking free from them all.
Being vulnerable is not a negative thing, it is part of our true nature. Strong leaders, successful explorers, happy and content enthusiasts, all have this in common. Always vulnerable, never afraid to fail, shine or be seen. It´s a trap that will take away your freedom.
We are all holding ourselves back at one level or another. Some more than others. me, I was literally sitting on myself, scared shitless of showing my full potentials. I related it to criticism. I was allergic to it. So eager to please and fit in it became this lifestyle of stress and achievement race. Trying to be good enough. For everybody else. Thinking it would make ME good enough.