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Are You Being Mindfully Authentic?

–To hold back, or live with apprehension or to love?

In this time of history, we are being challenged and asked to choose in so many different ways.  To step up and own our truth.  We really do have a choice that sometimes we readily see, and sometimes not. We are being asked to live authentically or natural, in ways aligned with our values, and who we choose to be.  If this idea piques your curiosity, you might enjoy reading Helen Amery’s article Real Authenticity.

Reflect on your life, or a particular situation and consider these three questions:

“Is this how I choose to be?”

“Am I being authentic at this moment?

“Is there an alternative way of thinking and behaving at this moment?”

It is said, we only do have this moment.  This space in time, for the past, is gone; the future is to be written, somewhat by our choices.   We do hold the pen in our hands. To write the words we choose to speak, the actions we take.  By changing both of these, we potentially change our thoughts and feelings. In turn, our mood, focus, and outcomes.

The question arises… What do you choose to focus on?  These things we are experiencing in this time in history are meaningful and confronting.  We are at risk of losing so much, yet, the opposite is also true.  We are, in this time, experiencing a place of incredible opportunity to help write a different outcome in our personal story.  What this will be, is up for each of us to choose and declare.

In the declaration, we decide to live by.

Our values, character, and actions, whatever they are.

We all are in the time of opportunity to exponentially grow.  We are being asked to make a choice, and only we can make it for ourselves and our children.  Not of others, not for our partners, but we decide where and how we will walk from this point forward.

There is a huge benefit to being in the moment being present. It reduces stress! Your attention is only on your breathing, where you are, who you are with.  So, bring your attention back to now. It also enables you to choose your next thought, feeling, and action.

Where do you want to put your focus?  In calm and gratitude, or in fear and frenzy?  Do you take time out to balance your mood, energy, and focus?

It takes practice; I totally get it.  I struggled with this for a long time. Even now, there are moments where I spiral down. I have to literally stop and allow the feelings to be there, and let them be. They don’t need fixing, fight them or give too much attention to them.  Allowing thoughts and feelings to be real, makes such a difference. This enables us to be ourselves, authentic and in the moment.

At times when emotions or imaginations continue to spiral down or become too intense, act.  There are a variety of exercises to help destress the nervous system.

  • Ask straightforward questions to uncover the underlying fear and who’s issue it really is? Do you need to take on someone else’s problem and negate their opportunity to grow?
  • Journal, get thoughts out of your mind and not to paper. This alone helps reflect, identify hidden beliefs and create solutions.
  • Talk with a trusted, unbiased friend. Sometimes, even hearing ourselves can be enough to put things into perspective.
  • Flip the scenarios around in my head to explore other ways of seeing the situation. Is there some information being missed or hiding? By flipping it around, we consider alternative points of view and other viable solutions.
  • Consider what parts are in my circle of influence, act on these as possible, or create a plan to resolve the problem.
  • Projecting questions: “Will this be important in a month?  In a year, longer?
  • What is more important, creating a safe space for myself and others, minimise trauma and stressors, or finish the deadline and ignoring your or others’ current needs?
  • Will looking after yourself and loved ones now create a better outcome in the long term?

Practice makes it easier, as does compassionate thought and empathy for ourselves and others.  Keep coming back to the moment. Deep breathe and calm the mind and body down.  Life will and does go on, and since we only have this moment in history, be conscious of what we are recording for the moment.

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Leah Marmulla
Leah Marmullahttps://www.stepstochange.com.au/
Leah is a Personal Change Agent, an Author and loves to see others make empowered authentic choices. Creating alife on their Terms with confidence, self-confidence. Leah's mission is quite simply to help others take steps to walk their life journey. To teach, support, and share my knowledge around reducing the hold limiting beliefs and fears have in one's life. Enabling empowered choices to make choices based on consciously selected beliefs, values, and character traits. Philosophy: We have four primary 'parts' creating our life experiences. The mind and its ability to create links in the world and therefore 'think'. The body that moves and interacts in the world. Spirit or energy is noticed in our character, values, actions. Then the soul is our core and links us to divinity. Over time, our life experiences have created layers. Each layer either lifted us up or weighed us down, either reinforcing our beliefs or helping to loosen their hold over our lives. There are many ways in which life dampens our innate joy and peace. An unkind word, frightening experiences, cultural norms that devalue or make others less than. Often the result is we start to believe "I am not good enough at....."; "I must have ...... before I even can consider being happy, or fulfilled" etc. According to psychologists, our beliefs, by their very nature, frame our outlook on life, interactions with others, quality of life, workplace, and impact in our love relationships, family, and most importantly, ourselves.

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7 CONVERSATIONS

  1. Hi Mark,

    thank you and glad you had realisations for yourself as well. In this moment, is a challenge. It is getting later in the day here, at this moment. The sun is setting I ‘want’ to go for a walk on the beach. I also am aware of tasks ideally to be ticked off. The delimma of the now in this sense too. I chose to reflect on the wins of the day, and in this case, close up and go for my walk. Being in lockdown, highlights the need to take each moment with more urgency to claim it, make and and enjy for we may not have the same freedoms’s tomorrow. Cheers.

    • Thanks Charlotte, it is good to be here. I agree, to take time out. Celebrate the small wins, the achievements along life’s steps. So important to help keep us focused and on target before burnout.

  2. Dear Leah,

    A most thought provoking essay. It is not always easy to question oneself why the way we are. And as you mention, there is in many ways no such thing as ‘present’ as time moves; never stops. The past cannot be changed, although we can learn from it. The future is to an extent unknown territory, but whatever the thoughts, optimism and positvity certainly have a part to play.

    Welcome to Bizcatalyst360 – am awesome platform of like-minded people.

    Simon

    • Hi Simon, thanks for your feedback and encouragement. The power of our internal dialogue, dictated by our beliefs and expectations. Pull these out of the equation and we have a totally different discussion with ourselves and others.
      Looking forward reading and sharing more. Who knows where these meaningful discussions lead.

      Cheers

  3. Great insight, Leah! I particularly like the projecting questions aspect – will this be important in a month? In a year? Paradoxically, looking ahead for just a few seconds like that can make you value being in the present, in the here and now, even more. It brings your focus back to, hey, this thing (whatever it is – an anxiety, a desire, a sadness, an elation) probably only has meaning, good or bad, right now. So, enjoy the good when it happens or take solace in the impermanence of the not so pleasant stuff.

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