Are We Co-Creators of Our Lives?

Dedicated to all the women out there, I salute you for being YOU!

I have many battle scars recovering from life’s unending struggles. I’ve learned at a young age to slay villains, demons, monsters & my own internal dragons.  Whilst standing tall amidst these dark nights of the soul periods, there were times I silently yearned to be rescued by a saviour or hero.

When calamity strikes my natural disposition is to seek solutions or alternatives to grow through whatever was/is in my path.

I showed up as a heroine across my social, professional & family circles. Unawares I was co-creating how others perceived or treated me. This resulted in hardly anyone showing up during many of my darkest hours of need.

Even through these tumultuous times, my energy was redirected towards helping anyone other than myself. I had no inclination that this behaviour was an adaptation, deeply rooted from a conditioned narrative and a wounded trauma response.

I felt alone, abandoned & often lonely, even with many people around me who naturally gravitated towards my magnanimous personality.

Well my personality, or rather personal reality, became one where I often felt bitter. Little did I realise my need to keep the peace, and take care of everyone’s wellbeing, was not in service to me or others.  I found myself reactive, silently harbouring resentment, disappointment & sheer disgust. How could those near & dear not see or appreciate I needed reciprocation for how I served them?

Having two life-defining experiences, a retrenchment & more recently a conscious uncoupling (divorce), very few people came to my aid. Fast track today, navigating being a single mom of 3 with 2 teenagers, has its fair share of challenges. There are feelings of isolation with no one to turn to.

I value the gift of these very important experiences which bring forth many life lessons. Somehow I could not see this clearly before.

You see, the universe will give us the push we need to step out of feeling like a victim. Where we are deeply entrenched in seeing only barriers & obstacles, almost blinded by them. It forces us to first accept our hero’s journey quest, to conquer the adaptations we assumed from our childhood. These vary from I’m not good enough, I don’t belong, Who am I to think I can be great, I have to be the good girl, I’m the black sheep…

When we finally connect to our authentic truth, we unveil the many personas we’ve been shackled by for years. This is when the hero’s no longer refuse the call, stepping courageously out of their ordinary world into the fearful unknown. 

This is what women do daily, each day approaching uncertainty, yet forging ahead valiantly amidst the volatility they face in life.

So whilst we are indeed co-creators in our lives, we can create a life design by fully embracing who we are at our core. Acknowledging ourselves for just how far we’ve journeyed, & continuing the cycle over and over again.