Are Unconditional Love and Healthy Relationships Rooted in Trust Interchangeable?

Have you ever gotten a chance to reflect on the above question? I’d love to know your thoughts!

I tend to separate the genuine and incredibly beautiful form of love we call unconditional or universal love from a healthy relationship.

While unconditional love can be given to a stranger human being, an animal met in the street, a plant, a rainbow — you name it; sometimes even to a person who hurt you deeply and with whom you decided to go no contact, a relationship is earned!

It seems to me that the fuel of a healthy relationship is unconditional love as an emotion—which transcends romantic love. Nonetheless, its foundation is trust, and building trust is a reciprocated process requiring investment.

In the words of the legendary mentor Stephen R. Covey from his book “The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People”:

We all know what a financial bank account is. We make deposits into it and build up a reserve from which we can make withdrawals when we need to. An Emotional Bank Account is a metaphor that describes the amount of trust that’s been built up in a relationship. It’s the feeling of safeness you have with another human being.

To withdraw money from your physical bank account to fulfill your daily needs, you first need to have the money. The same principle applies to trust.

To avoid suddenly losing trust as many folks deeply believe and share it as being part of life, following some ‘unforgivable’ mistake, the trust reserve needs to be high enough to allow withdrawing from it, I suppose.

In reality, it is not that the mistake was unpardonable. The problem is that we gifted our trust, instead of giving ourselves the required time to observe the person’s behavior, and how ready they were to wholeheartedly invest in building trust.

What if we are responsible for the suffering created by losing trust given that we allowed our lack of self-love to take control of our life through craving others’ validation and being delusional enough to believe that trust may be as unconditional as love, in the first place?


Myriam Ben Salem
Myriam Ben Salem
I am deeply passionate about everything life has to offer. Writing has been my very favorite means to educate my audience, captivate their attention, talk to their emotions, and make them relate and take action. I have been honored by working as a columnist for BIZCATALYST 360°, an Award-Winning life, culture, and biz new media digest, serving as the global hub for enhanced performance and well-being, during 2020. Also, I am a contributing author in Mayhem to Miracles: True Stories of Courage, Triumph, and Peace. I am so in love with writing that I have a peaceful smile drawn on my face whenever I start visualizing the books I will be writing for whoever will be tempted to discover an inclusive philosophy breaking with all the stigmas! I was born in Tunisia, a small country in North Africa. I did pretty much everything earlier than the average: walking, talking, singing, dancing. Promoted throughout my entire education, I was also the leader of every end-of-year party. At some point, after working several years for multinational companies as an engineer, team leader, project coordinator, and product owner while always being a top performer, I figured out I was feeling miserable despite the 'perfect external image'. That marked the starting point of an existential crisis followed by an episode that triggered my re-birth and the beginning of the most rewarding adventure of my whole existence: re-writing my subconscious program and reconnecting with my true self. I was saved at the last moment through an out-of-body experience making me see all the lies, realize this gigantic Universe was not revolving around me. Most importantly, I was able to visualize I was here to leave a legacy like all of you, no matter how big or small! The butterfly took time to emerge though. Today, I identify myself as a Universal Citizen. Like-minded and light-hearted people are what I call home. I am deeply passionate about everything life has to offer, and was granted the edutainer qualifier: a combination between education and entertainment! I educate on the importance of healing unsuspected traumas, seeing our limiting beliefs and biases with honest lenses, finding one's purpose and a principled mission that goes beyond the self, and unleashing the hidden potential so that to leave our legacy for the generations unborn. I have been using a panoply of means that could vary from explicit ones such as mentorship, speaking, and writing, a skill that emerged naturally during my self-actualization process to implicit mediums like storytelling, how I daily show up in the world and model servant leadership! Writing is my very favorite and most preferred tool deployed for my mission. The topics I explore are in the nexus of stoic philosophy, psychology, neuroplasticity, epigenetics, and pretty much any topic involving human behavior. Common denominator? The quality of the subconscious program. You may have a look at some of my works published on my website; Set Yourself Free.

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