An ode to our addictive behaviours and the self-soothing coping mechanisms we hold on to in our daily interactions, born out of unresolved traumas and our relationship with them;
When we look outside our #truself for sustenance,
To fulfil that ever wilful toxic thought repeating in our minds
And appease our misplaced momentary cravings,
However gratifying the immediate feeling may appear,
Its presence is always oh so fleeting
And when it leaves us, as it always does,
In its place a fresh wound emerges,
Filled effortlessly by our old friends Fear and Resentment
Working in tandem to keep us locked down
Compounding us still further, weighed down with what remains unresolved,
Add to that the shame of our most recent impulsive action,
Then comes the guilt of our apparent weakness in the face of temptation
And finally the realisation that we are already condemned to repeat this futile melodrama,
With swift veracity and expedient malice, towards ourselves and those around us,
Oblivious to all, bar that immortal rallying cry reverberating in our head,
“Just one more time…”
“And then I’ll stop…”
When our emotional needs are not seen, heard, felt and honoured in our formative years, we develop mal-adaptive tendencies to find ways to self-satisfy and fill in the blanks.
Self-soothing quickly turns to addictive patterns which left unadulterated and reinforced by repetition manifest in later life as toxic behaviours.
These coping mechanisms forged in the fire were never meant to persist and yet they do, hard-wired into our operating system they are the lies that configure our beliefs, the untruths which dictate our value structure and the blueprint for all our future relationships.
This is not, however, cause for condemnation, this is cause for (self)compassion.
Contrary to popular belief it is not enough to simply ask someone to say NO to something, we must first offer them something which they can say YES to…
“For even in the ocean of despair, there lives an island of hope…”
If we can develop our noticing muscles and self-awareness, we can begin to acknowledge the addiction for what it is, its power over our rational mind and the reason for our compulsive habits.
Next, we dig deep to recognise the implicit memory itself, the bedrock from which all the negativity spirals out from, and the numerous emotional connections we associate with it. The expansive neurological pathways which have helped to solidify the associated negative thoughts and feelings and reinforced the repetitive cycles which have defined our personal narrative thus far.
Now we bring in the self-compassion, replacing the connected self-condemnation, breaking the chain and allowing us to live our truth, re-write our story, follow our bliss and set our #truself free…
Namaste my friends
