Am I Alone?

I try to open up my eyes
There is pain all over my body.
I feel tired.
I feel wet. I looked around.
There is blood everywhere.
I panicked.
I touch my body everywhere.
Head, face, arms, body, legs…
I can’t find a wound.
From where is the blood flowing?
I am completely drenched in blood
Am I dead?
No, I can still feel pain
Again I touch my head, and neck.
I move my palms a little lower
I feel the wetness even more‎
I look down at my palms
Still filling with blood
But I have found the wound.
It is my heart.
My heart is bleeding…
I look inside
My heart is broken and blood, flows out.
A teardrop falls upon my blood-drenched palm
I feel weight in my head
I look around
No one there, but
I feel invisible love showering upon me
I can feel invisible care showering upon me
I can feel an invisible prayer showering upon me
I hear a whisper saying “stay in there”
I try to stand on my legs
Carrying all the love, care, and prayers with me
And I hold it tightly against my heart
I look around again
I am standing at the foot of a Y road
Which way should I choose?
I move closer to the road on the left side
A rough road filled with stones
Along the road I see glass pieces with the stones
Furthermore there are even nails‎ so sharp
I Wonder where it leads;
A long road it seems,
An endless road
I turn and see a board
And Written on it was:
Path to Life. Here you must step on the stones, glass pieces, and nails to move forward, onward.
Here you will be hurt again and again with each step. Remember, this path gives you the answer to your existence. Choose wisely.
I move to the right side
I utter unknowingly “Wow”
At the same moment “What?”
The road even though short is beautiful
It looks as though I am standing at the entrance of a castle
Buttery smooth marble-paved road
Seems as if leading to a real heaven
I look around to see if the path too had a board
There it was.
The words written upon it:
Path to Death. You will be a free soul. No problems. No hurt. No worries. No commitments. Nothing to fear. No one will break your heart. Remember, this path will never give you answers to your existence. Choose wisely.
I step back
I look at both roads and boards
I look down at my blood dripping broken heart
My broken and aching body
I pause for a moment
I think about my heart. It is situated on the left side of my body and it has always taken the right decision for me
I look at the road on the left again
It is scary.
I wipe my tears
I have made up my mind
I take the road to the left
Carefully stepping on each stone
Hurting my already hurt body
With each forward step, I leave a blood-filled print of my foot behind me
I suffer in silence
Tears flowing down my cheeks
I step upon a glass piece
With unbearable pain I fall down
I cry loudly
The love, care, and prayers all I am holding against my heart scattered around from my hands
I search for it
But I can’t find it in the sea of stones and glass pieces
I try to stand up
With more pain
With more new wounds on the body
All alone…
I cry
I look towards the long path
I limp
I step forward
All alone…
With a broken heart
With a broken mind
With a broken body
I move again
All alone…
Where there is darkness there is light
However minute
Seemingly invisible
I have to see the light
The light finds my heart
My heart is the light
God is my light
I follow my heart
All alone.

Special Mention: Thank you Simon Lever for your help in editing my work.


Rasiya Rahuman
Rasiya Rahuman
Born in Kottayam, a district popularly known as “Land of Letters” Kerala, India. I spent almost two and a half decades of my life in this district where I completed my education. Currently a Medical Analyst with a demonstrable history of working in the information technology and services sector for Spectrum Softtech Solutions Pvt. Ltd. Based in Kochi, Kerala, the company is a leading service provider in the US Healthcare Sector in association with the US counterpart, SpectraMedi Inc., Syracuse New York. For more than 11 years I have been engaged in transcribing, editing, reviewing, and proof-reading medical records that have been dictated by physicians or physicians’ assistants. Because of my special birthplace, I have always admired writing and reading books. Poems, fiction, fantasy, thrillers, drama, and horrors are my favourite genres. From childhood, I imagined a lot. I love nature, the sky, my home Earth, other human beings, and the universe.

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  1. Dear Rasiya,

    When I first read this vivid, emotional and dramatic poem, it brought tear to my eye and a lump in my throat. I have just it again and his has the same impact. You are truly a wordsmith. You have a way of describing pain, sorrow and trauma and ultimately enlightenment to all who read these incredible experiences of your life. You have followed your heart and now bless any reader with your sincerity and genuine wish to spread light amongst the darkness. Rasiya, dear friend, I salute you. For you will bring hope and light to all who reads this remarkable poem.