I‘ve been writing on the internet for years, in the beginning mostly on social media. It’s only been the last two and a half, really, that I’ve expanded to a bigger audience.
When I was just posting on …. ugh… Facebook, what I noticed again and again is that when I wrote when I was angry, I used to get a lot more engagement than when I wrote when I was calm. That’s because when I was angry, I wrote in an agitating way. There’s a difference between agitation and brute force.
People often double down and resist any time they feel oppressed. The best way to create harmonious love and growth with a friend, a boss, a partner, etc, is to not use brute force. And yet, I think there’s a really beautiful place for agitation. We wouldn’t change without it.
I DO NOT think humans should live their lives agitated. I think we should live in peace in the here and now. Yet, if you’re not living in peace in the here and now, there’s a place for agitation.
Like, for example, are you unhappy with your body but you’re drinking several nights per week? Do you really not think that drinking is not contributing to your extra puffiness and overall poorer physical and mental health? Why do you not want to look at your drinking? Are you unwilling to examine the cultural influences you live under? Are you unwilling to acknowledge drinking is just a symptom of something being unsettled, having unresolved issues, and not being close to yourself?
OR- are you unhappy in your job but want to justify religiously why you’re SO HAPPY there? Why it’s “not so bad?”
I posted a screenshot of a text I sent to a friend in early 2020 (right before COVID) about how happy I was at my abusive job working 35 hours a week and not doing much else. And how I’m “not passionate about podcasts or sales.” (Ahem… that’s basically a giant chunk of what I do now.) I was lying to myself to stay comfortable. Because I was being a little bitch.
Like, where are you lying to yourself? Maybe you do need some agitation.
Like, I tell people all the time, “just show up every day and things will happen.”
It’s that simple. Show up and do one stupid tiny thing every day. One tiny stupid thing. In your whole f__king day, do one thing.
In the hours and hours of lying around and masturbating and watching reels on Instagram, do one f__king thing that serves you. One thing. Can you not do this? Maybe you need some agitation. Maybe you need to examine why you can’t break away from cooking reels to do a tiny workout? Do you need that much dopamine? How sick are you?
I’m all about self love– it’s how I got here. And I’m also about action.
What changes your life? Changing your thoughts, and repetition.
There’s a good place for agitation.
I was watching a Dr. Joe video yesterday and he said “most people quit when they come up against the boundary of the known self.” I see this in my work all the time. Everything you know about yourself, the world, and reality is a complete load of bullshit.
I am “one of those people” who has made massive transformation post age 35. I’m one of those people who “got out of the loop.” I’m one of those people who acknowledges every bit of bullshit I tell myself and others.
I’m one of those people who, when I want something, often sits in perpetual discomfort until my neural pathways are rewired. I do this by doing work, examining my story, and being open and present to what is.
There’s a quote “discipline is prioritizing what you want most over what you want now.”
Maybe you don’t really want the things you say you do. Maybe you gotta look at that.
How agitated do you feel?
If it’s a lot, you’re welcome.