Addressing Hard Times and Misery is a Group Effort

While researching for my book Storm Seeds, I had the opportunity to sit in on a talk by a recovering addict. He had been through the program more than once. He said: “I am one of you. I have been in and out of rehab more times than I care to admit. Life is hard and it certainly is not fair. It takes extraordinary courage and strength to navigate through all the obstacles life drops in our way. Many of us try to navigate these obstacles alone. Why? I wish I had an answer, I don’t. I do have a theory. Many of us have been hurt or betrayed or abandoned by the very people we depended upon for guidance and support. We no longer trust or have faith in people. As we try to navigate alone, we make the wrong choices and surround ourselves with the wrong people. This just makes things worse.”

He paused for effect and then continued: “We all know that misery loves company. It waits and watches for those who are hurting. It senses the storm seeds in our mind. Misery starts out as a friend. It will gain our trust. It will commiserate with us by watering and nurturing our storm seeds. It will not offer help. If we challenge misery and try to move forward, it will pull us back down. It takes advantage of us. It sucks the very life out of us. Misery’s goal is to replace our hope and faith with anger, depression, and despair. Most of us addicts don’t change our course. We do well here in rehab, but once we get out misery is waiting. Most of us aren’t strong enough to defeat misery alone. Unfortunately, most of us will be back in rehab or in jail or found dead on the street. Misery is an invincible opponent if we try to fight it alone. When the storm seeds are raging in our minds, when we feel we can no longer continue, when we are overwhelmed by misery, remember this phase – ‘Look up, Get up and Never ever give up.’”

One of the patients shouted out, “Sh#t, are you of those religious nuts? I am so sick and tired of you people.”

Undeterred, he continued, “I don’t consider myself a man of religion nor am I a man of science.  I know many of us addicts, probably most of us have said, I don’t believe in God, or a greater power or the spirit or the universe, call it what you will. I know we have all said, ‘Where was God when my life was falling apart?’ What I discovered is God or the spirit was there, but we, or should I say I, chose to go it alone.” Turning to the patient that spoke he said, “Why did I put my trust in the spirit, something I can’t see? Why not? What I was doing sure as hell didn’t work. So, I talked to the spirit. I asked for help. Some people call this prayer. I don’t. I just call it talking to someone or something who cares, who listens, who really listens. So, I asked for guidance. I asked for grace. I asked for mercy. I didn’t expect anything to change, but what harm was there in trying. I bounced off a few walls, but isn’t freedom from addiction worth it?”

No one has to or should face misery alone. It doesn’t have to be as extreme as an addiction. It can be any form of abuse or any situation where you feel helpless. The first step is asking for help. There are so many people and resources ready and willing to stand with you. The first step is up to you.

Frank Zaccari – from the book “Storm Seeds”


Frank Zaccari
Frank Zaccari
Business/Organizational Development Expert - Key Note Speaker - 4x Best Selling Author - Radio and Roku TV host of Life-Altering Events and Featured Contributor BIZCATALYST 360°, US Air Force veteran. He is also the co-founder of the Wellness Connection (a series of wellness clinic that will be launched soon) Frank Zaccari- 35 years - Sr. Executive & business owner, a dynamic, engaging, and entertaining Keynote Speaker, 4x bestselling Author, Business Adviser, ROKU TV Show Host, VoiceAmerica host of Life-Altering Events, wrote and published 8 books, leads a workshop at Arizona State University; mentors Veterans, is a mentor and judge at University of California Entrepreneurship Academy. His "Business & Personal Secrets" series has produced three #1 bestselling books in twelve months. The most recent bestseller "Business & Professional Secrets for Getting Unstuck" (May 2022) is a follow-up to his other best-selling books in the series "Business Secrets for Walking on Water" (May 2021) and "Business & Personal Secrets for Avoiding Relationship Landmines." (November 2021). Frank provides long-term consulting with midsize companies to sustain success, scale, fund growth, pivot (dynamic change), and significantly improve profitability in a positive business environment. He re-enforces this consulting by providing both on-site and virtual workshops which expand on his Business and Personal Secrets book series. In addition, Frank and his team, are running public relations and marketing campaigns for authors, including ghostwriting services if necessary. This program has generated seven consecutive #1 bestselling books.

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  1. What an incredibly powerful and poignant piece, Frank. I could relate to the “going it alone,” and yet, I know when I now ask for help, support, or guidance, this usually comes with much love. I have made many poor choices because I found myself very gullible-naive-wanting to believe the scams, the fear/flattery salespeople. Though I don’t come from addiction, I came through many traumas and found a way to Post traumatic Growth-for which I’m incredibly grateful. Asking can be an incredibly vulnerable and courageous act -especially when we really may not know who to be or what we actually need or want. So lost from all the betrayals, shape-shifting messages, rejections, manipulations, fake love bait, some of us can find ourselves raw and bruised in many unseen places. We may be hiding from ourselves, the shame-which is another form of Misery-often unspoken and hidden away in a frozen storage locker of our beings. I believe so many of us are trained Not to ask for support and then reinforce this “training” by not asking. We are told “it is better to give than receive!!” “You are selfish for asking!” “Take care of Me-not yourself-taking care of you-well, that’s selfishness and sinfulness!” Turning this one around can be some incredibly empowering and courageous work. The work of a lifetime. I also now know how to go deep within myself-to my Inner Quiet Charlotte (formerly the Inner Fly on the Wall) and listen to her Inner Knowing. As Rumi stated it, “Your heart knows the way. Run in that direction.” Takes time and practice to listen quietly to a broken opened heart when the mind has been distracting you with its lies. Thank you, again, for such a meaningful-in the gut-in the heart of it-essay.