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Accept Does Not Come In Vanilla

I’ve been thinking . . .

We never outgrow the need to accept. Imagine we are together clustered in the corner of a woody coffeehouse warmed by the scent of fresh ground espresso laced with rich chocolate. If I asked you to tell about a time when you had to accept a living condition or a change in your circumstances, what would you say? How would you react? Would the conversation lean toward accepting a broken feeling or of remedy and repair? Would you tell me about what you lost or tell me about something you won? We don’t mean to do it, but our thoughts take a nose dive straight in the pit when we think about how the word ‘accept’ affects us.

What if we could change all that? What if, despite what happens to us, we redefine acceptance as not something we have to endure, but as something we can grow into and improve with? Acceptance becomes a choice with boundaries. We can accept what happens to us on a sliding scale because we are influenced in varying degrees and levels. Acceptance comes in many flavors, but never vanilla.

Life is a contact sport and sometimes we get beat up pretty badly. We can’t always be ready for the punch to the gut, but we can be prepared by learning some coping skills. Grow your confidence.

Sometimes we win! We have victories to celebrate, reasons to rejoice, a promotion to applaud – then why can’t quite accept them? What’s that all about? We look around and wonder when we’ll hear the thud of the other shoe dropping. That’s crazy dialog going on between your ears. Put the noise cancelling muffs on and silence the voices. Learn to talk back with affirmations. Remind yourself of the multiple times you have come through the fire stronger and wiser.

Focus on what you have left, not on what you’ve lost. This is premier acceptance. Admit that what you lost was a part of you and losing it was like tearing your flesh away from your heart. Apply the salve of acceptance and the bandages of resolve and focus now on what you can do now. Put your effort into repairing the hurt and filling in the cracks until your acceptance feels real.

Life brings us options every day, some good, some tragic, some happy, some distressing. We react. The levels of acceptance, the degree of acceptance, the speed of acceptance will be different for everyone. It will be different for every circumstance. For every setback there is a choice. We can accept and move on. We can let the setback be a stayback, and give up. We choose. Acceptance comes in many flavors, but never vanilla.

Anyway … that’s what I was thinking.


This is a 5-minute Friday article. The word for this week is ACCEPT and I wrote for 5 minutes, no edits, not over thinking – just shoot from the hip prose. Are you a writer? Join the 5-Minute Friday group and get support even before you need it.


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Jane Anderson
Jane Andersonhttp://refininggrace.com/
JANE’s professional experience is scattered across industries from financial services and insurance to engineering and manufacturing. Jane sees her background in writing and editing website content as the foundation to her current love of social media. Being an avid reader, meticulous note taker and lifelong learner has fostered her natural pursuit of sharing her world through writing. Reading books and summarizing content started as a hobby and has since grown to be a major part of her vocational experience. Jane says, “Authors pour their heart and soul into writing their book. When I write a review, it’s with intent to celebrate the book and promote the author.” Jane claims to be 'the best follower you'll ever want to meet' and has been repeatedly called servant leader, eternal cheerleader, social media evangelist, and inspirational go-to person. Jane is a contributing author to the inspiring book Chaos to Clarity: Sacred Stories of Transformational Change.

5 CONVERSATIONS

  1. Good points, Jane. It is my observation that those of us above say 50-55 are more resilient and deal better with both the good and bad that life hands us than those that are younger, say teens and twenties. Why is that? I think it is because so many of the younger generations have been coddled, given trophies for just showing up, and told that bad things don’t happen to good people and they are one of the good people. So, when that punch in the gut comes, as it surely will, that younger person simply can’t cope. Perhaps that is one of the contributing factors to such a startling rise in suicides in that age group.

    It is true that often when something good happens to us, we immediately look over our shoulders to see if there is a gotcha. What is hidden in the fine print syndrome?

    • Thank you for reading and taking time to comment. When I think back to years before I turned 40 or 50 I realize how much my perspective has changed and how much life experiences have brought me to this place. We all learn over lifetime, but there is a lot to be said for how we learn and what we are willing to learn as we mature.

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