When we lean in and listen to understand what’s being said, we often hear what is not. Active listening takes additional time. Time to be present with what is. It’s a skill that can be learned, and it’s certainly worth the effort.
As a career bedside RN, I frequently found myself engaged in conversations with people who, had they not been my patients, would’ve been complete strangers.
However, with our nurse/patient relationship came the privilege of trust. Truly a shared understanding that the words spoken were creating a professional, yet intimate, bond during a distinct, often difficult, period of their life. Throughout my 30+ years giving care, active listening was a skill I honed with diligence and pride. Armed with the ability to come from a place that is deeper than ourselves, we become one with the other. Now, looking back, I recognize these experiences were an honor I will always hold sacred.
I recall quietly standing in the doorway of a patient’s room one night. Though no one was visibly present, a complete conversation issued from my patient. I knew I was about to step into hallowed ground where few have the privilege to trod. My intuition kept me from entering that room, sensing that it was a moment before departure for this patient. As I watched from my vantage point, they closed their eyes and transitioned to the other side.
Active listening enriched my life in unimaginable ways. I sensed, often correctly, when a patient was anticipating death. When they were scared, more for their family than themselves. When they wanted to abandon what they considered futile therapy but didn’t know how to tell their doctor or loved ones. Dark, lonely hours at night in a hospital bed bring out numerous fears that go unspoken, until a gentle look allows an opening of the heart. Silent atonement is requested and granted, without attachment to the outcome. A light hand resting on theirs, and words, as well as tears, would flow unreservedly. Gifts such as these are permitted to those who remain fully present.
I invite you to seek opportunities to silently witness life around you, both in nature and with humanity. You’ll find in doing so you may awaken a previously dormant spiritual space within. A new course to Journey Well.
Be present for someone today.
