The questions this post addresses are related and all point in the same direction.
- Can a person have dual behavior being kind to some people and unkind to others and himself?
- Can a person’s behavior towards self be different from his behavior towards others?
- Can a person have trust in self and mistrust in others?
- Is there a scale of trust or behavior?
I do not believe that a person can be honest and dishonest. Either he is honest or not.
I do not believe that a person’s behavior toward self can be different from his behavior toward others.
If I have no trust in myself and my abilities then I behave with others accordingly.
The opposite is true. If a person’s behavior is unkind to others then he is unkind to himself.
If a person is aggressive to others then he is aggressive to himself.
The rationale behind my thinking
Take the example of selfish people who want everything for themselves. If they lead a team they credit themselves for success and blame team members’ failure. They shall show the same mean behavior to themselves. They may not care to eat healthy food, for example.
People who are tolerant of themselves form this behavior pattern and are most likely to carry this pattern to others. If they are not self-tolerant the same logic applies and they shall not be tolerant of even the simple mistakes of others. They are mean to themselves and to others.
The same logic applies to self-esteem. If a person thinks lowly of himself he shall think the same of others. He cannot give what he does not have.
There is no scale of trust or honesty
The preceding discussion invites the question; is there a scale of trust or honesty?
Can I be dishonest with people and honest with myself? I do not believe so. It is either he is honest or dishonest. Honesty is a whole that cannot be divided. To be dishonest with people means the person has this attitude, which shall extend to himself.
The same applies to trust. There are sites on the web that report the scale of trust. I believe the exclusivity principle applies here as well. Either a person trusts self and others or not.
Do you agree? Please share your thoughts.
I’m reminded of a statement I first heard from T. Harv Eker a couple if decades ago. I examined it carefully for some time and have to agree. “What you do anywhere, you do everywhere.” Perhaps we don’t admit it from lack of awareness, although honest observations will reveal its truth.
What a lovely quote, Zen
Yes, so true and the post is consistent with the quoted adage.