My Dearest Job,
We haven’t met yet, but I know you’re out there…waiting for me. Just like I’m here…waiting for you. I’m not sure when we’ll find each other, but I hope it’s soon. I imagine you have key performance indicators that need tending, and I know I have car insurance that needs paying.
I tried asking Progressive if they would take “belief in one’s self” as recompense, but no. Turns out they’re really into getting cash, which was pretty disappointing to hear. Especially after reading all those affirmation posts on Instagram that promised me my only limitation was confidence.
Oh well. Do you think the applicant tracking system might be more enthralled with my assuredly assured self-assurance? I’ve tried wooing the darn thing with sans serif fonts and minimalism (No tables! No graphs! No charts!), but my efforts seem to be in vain as you and I remain apart.
Do you know the ATS well, Job? I hear that it is the gatekeeper to all that is good while simultaneously being completely irrelevant. I admit I’m not sure which perspective is more accurate, but uncertainty has been a frequent traveling companion during my quest to find you.
Write a one-page resume. No, write a two-page resume. One. Two. Two. One.
Reach out to the hiring manager—it shows initiative. Don’t reach out the hiring manager—it shows you’re desperate.
Cover letters are essential. Except that no one reads cover letters.
Be authentic in your search and the way you talk to people. As long as you never directly mention you’d like a job that includes an authentic salary.
Such incongruities would be enough to make my head spin, but as a writer who likes to uphold the highest standards, I strive to avoid clichés in both word and deed. Instead, I simply enter another job description into Wordclouds.com to find the most relevant keywords.
Do you think we’ll do these sorts of tasks once we’re finally united, Job? Attempt to parse through a seemingly endless list of contradictions in hopes of discovering the one thing we actually need?
I hope not. I confess, I often contemplate the days we’ll share, and none of them involve finding lesser-used synonyms for “managed” or “led.”
You know what I do imagine though, Job? What life is like in the world where we’ve finally found one another.
I dream that you were devised at a place full of camaraderie and innovation and that your most important desire is to bring people together.
I dream that I’ve joined you in that space and that I’m excited to be among men and women who care about respect, compassion, and integrity.
I dream that you need my knowledge, my perspective, and my creativity, the same way I need your challenges, your purpose, and your steadiness.
I dream that you are somewhere warm and sunny, surrounded by palm trees that sway underneath bright, blue skies.
I dream that I’m there with you, thrilled to be so close to the ocean and delighted to have a home I can call my own.
Does that sound like a good life to you, Job? A good world? It does to me. So many of my days can be filled with frustration and even sorrow, but when I think about what we’ll be like when we’re finally with each other, I feel this sweet, light sense of joy.
Not because I believe you’ll solve my problems but because we’ll be able to put all this energy and passion to use; we’ll be able to inspire and collaborate. To thrive.
I’m doing my very best to bring us together and to shape this world that I imagine for us, Job. I do have to tell you though…I’m deeply afraid that my efforts tomorrow will be as insufficient as they were yesterday.
All that fear and its accompanying confusion sometimes feel like burdens I will never be able to put down, but they will not stop me. I will not give up until I find you, and I hope that you will not give up on me either.
We’ll just have to continue onward, no matter how slowly, until our paths cross. And I simply cannot wait for that day and that world to arrive, Job.
Thinking of you always,
P.S. – Please let me know about the ATS if you can. I’ve got all my contact information located conveniently on my LinkedIn profile. I’m just a text away! Or an email! Or a Calendly appointment!
(Oh, and if you’re not sure how to get in touch since you’re not corporeal, talk to Phil from ZipRecruiter. I don’t think he’s “real” either, but he is in near-constant contact about opportunities he thinks I’ll love.)