So many times, we hear about people who turn to alcohol and drugs to mask pain. Sometimes even the person engulfed in the wanted or unwanted behavior doesn’t know what brought them to the dependency of the ever-so-powerful mind-altering crutches. But one thing is for certain is that it sometimes takes a life-changing event to pull the mind together long enough to start to understand what has really been happening.
We have to understand addiction is hard to control. It’s a disease that sometimes has ties to friends and families who are or at one time also had dependency problems. What may seem like ‘fun’ with people becomes a black hole, which is hard to crawl out of alone and without help.
Below is a poem I received of someone who had hit rock bottom in their life and was able to turn things around for not only herself but for the life of her baby girl. She allowed me to share a very surreal moment in her life that was the catalyst to change her life. Her hope in sharing her thoughts, as she described, the hardest time in her life, would in some way help someone else who is in the deep throes of addiction to know there is a way to break free.
I thought I knew pain before
But that was just the beginning
I’ve finally found what I love more
And that’s a life that is worth living
I can’t be ashamed of my past mistakes
They’ve made me who I am today
It’s amazing waking up without the shakes
For so long for this, I’ve prayed
The journey I’m on isn’t over yet
I’ve got a long road to travel still
But, I’m gonna make it this time, I won’t forget
I know there’s a way, and I have the will
For all the wrongs I’ve done
This time I’ve learned the most
I’ve realized I’m not the only one
And I need to hold my family close
Addition can be so very cunning
I’ve lost most everything I loved
I thought I could get away by running
I really need help from the man above
All of the people I thought were friends to me
It turns out I was just there to be used
They were just as good to me as an enemy
I was the nice one, the only one they could abuse
Four long months later I’m clean and sober
It’s crazy what you learn in this small cell
I can say that old life is done and over
I am tired of the life that was a living hell
So, I’m starting fresh, just my daughter and me
No drug or drink will stop me now
Nothing means more than her and my sobriety
I’ll show everyone just how
If you don’t believe me, I’ll understand why
But just watch me and you will see
I understand I used to lie
But today that just isn’t me
The poem is very raw and tells a lot of the feeling of loneliness and realization of a life gone astray. But I am very proud of how she was able to pull herself up and walk proud. Challenges ahead? I am sure the first battle is realizing the problem, but the struggle is typically a lifetime battle.
Remember, it’s easy to wake up and feel horrible and think you can control the urge. You want to move forward that day and just stop. But, when you feel you only have to ‘slow down,’ it will forever rule your body and your mind. Please take the time to get help. You are worth the life you deserve.
Please call the addiction National helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author. They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of the publisher or any entity whatsoever for which the author is affiliated.