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A Journal That Tells a Story

Once again, I begin a new journal as I close out the old.  I’ve lost count of how many journals I have written over the years since the age of 12.  I am now 72.  Journaling, in the beginning, was a form of therapy; a way to write the words of pain on a piece of paper.  I would discover that through the writing down of my thoughts, I could be somewhere else, somewhere without pain and sadness.  As the years have passed and the journals were filled one by one, I felt a sense of completion for many of the childhood memories I wanted to forget.

As I entered adulthood and discovered that through relationships, which were not meaningful, I began a process of writing to express what I felt inside as a mother, a wife, and a grandmother.  I wrote in my journals how I felt I had nothing to offer anyone.  That I had failed as a mother, failed in my marriages, and failed God.  Yet a voice I knew, that had always been there with me as a child, laying on a table in the emergency room, chin split wide open, saying, “Jesus, Oh Jesus,” was now saying, “Persevere” “I ‘am with you”.

In my first marriage, as a young Catholic girl, at age 18, I looked forward to marrying and being a wife and eventually a mother.  But that was not to happen so early in my life.  Journaling soon became a daily habit and my prayer life developed intensely over time.  I grew closer to God.  I gave Him my two kids in life to help me with and as time continued, my grandchildren through prayer.  I also gave him my pain from the ongoing chemotherapy and all that came with cancer treatments.  But I had to keep writing because of so many heartbreaks I encountered.

Today, I have no contact with my two adult children and four grandchildren.  I lost a child that I carry in my heart each day.  I have lost three of my siblings, and 3 marriages gone bad, and yet, journaling tells the story as it always has.  I will continue to Trust God who knows my heart for the good I have done in life, and grateful for today.  I sacrificed a lot in raising my children so that so that they could have a better life.  I wasn’t perfect, no one is, but the most important thing is that if my grandchildren were to pick up these dusty journals one day, they will know the story.  I will never stop journaling till I am unable to write, or I am called home, my writings will speak for me.  They are words of truth.  Journals tell a story.

Lynn Forrester-Pitocco
Lynn Forrester-Pitocco
LYNN is Retired from Law Enforcement as a Police Officer, with a background in nursing and previously a member of the Search and Rescue Team with the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department, A retired member of the Orange Police Department, she became the first female SWAT member on an elite team while becoming a member of the Olympic Shooting Team during the early years on the department. A mother and a grandmother, a devout Catholic who currently resides in Houston, Texas. Her hobbies include writing, painting, and a contemplative prayer life. She is in love with her faith, but the love she carries for her two grown children and grandchildren who rest in her heart surpasses everything except her faith in God. Since retirement, Lynn has done private investigation, worked as a gang counselor with middle schools, A member of Bl. Mother Teresa’s Order called the (Lay Missionaries of Charity), she is also a pro-life advocate, often called upon to give testimony and speak to youth groups, as well as adult forums. She has published a children’s book entitled “The Children’s Garden” and is currently working on two additional children’s books. She is currently working on the major one focused on her experience in Law Enforcement entitled “Heels and a Badge”. (copyright). Her paintings and sketches, writings, can be viewed on her Pinterest boards (click on the Pinterest ICON below). Her dream is to one-day write a movie for Hallmark. Dreams do come true … See Lynn’s entire collection of thought-provoking Articles by clicking on her byline. Lynn is a contributing author to the inspiring book Chaos to Clarity: Sacred Stories of Transformational Change.

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2 CONVERSATIONS

  1. Journalling gives one a chance for personal introspection as well as for personal reflection my dear Nightingale. The “tragedies to the triumphs” in one’s life as documented inside a personal journal provides an “up-close” perspective to the time in which the events have occurred to the writer as well as to the reader. Snapshots in time are “timeless” and of great valuable insight. I think of the personal diary of Anna Frank who gave us all a gift through her words, descriptions, feelings and hope. Our words once documented can be later reviewed in the future by family member/s to provide them with your living legacy. That is a true blessing for the reader as for the writer. What a great way to bridge the “time gap” that lets them have a chance to know who you were. Keep writing your “living legacy” Nightingale. Coram Deo!

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