“When I’m a grown-up and make enough money, I will………”
—Spoken in a discussion with my dear grandson while driving him to his Karate class.
Can you remember… what did you see as an eight-year-old that you wanted to change to improve the world in some way, to bring heart coherence to those you care about?
These placed intentions remain in our deeper levels of consciousness. They carry empathy for a given situation, perhaps with our parents or with suffering we see among others, or a lack of something that creates inner longing.
I recall a feeling that it wasn’t God who was unjust or evil, it was individuals who were unable to have what they needed or kids who become mean because their parents were mean toward them. I remember the bully who was not a happy person and set about making others unhappy. Was the bully simply looking for a way to understand the world, to find empathy? Or the disheveled girl in my class who didn’t seem to have access to clean clothes and a bath.
Allowing the space, adequate time to reflect, and stillness, we can recall these deeply held intentions that give clues to our current and often subtle behavior and values.
Remember…
I think we ask 8 year olds (or adolescents for that matter) the wrong question. Instead of “What to you want to be when you grow up? why not “What problems would you like to solve when you grow up?” They may not yet have total awareness of the world’s problems at a young age, but the question takes them out of the idea of a role as what’s important and instead focuses on service to others.
I agree with your point, Jeff. A second question might be “What solutions do see that can bring this change? What can you do now?”
I love this. I was in a good place at eight. Reading Books , going on great adventures with my friends. Never worried about much. It was the best of times for me. I always wanted to be a writer and in a way I have.
I’m guessing that your life is still a great adventure with friends.
Mmm….I am lucky in that a lot of my friends are the people I grew up with. That’s my favorite part of Bizcatalyst360 is the amazing people and writers. I love your stories they are filled with great storytelling
Thank you, Larry. You are a force!
Such a meaningful invitation you’ve offered here, Kathleen. I was busy being fascinated by the human and relationship dynamics going on all around me—girls, boys, teachers, parents and parents’ cohorts—in a way that hasn’t changed. The human experience is my foundational passion. I was also a busy young musician from the age of 4, the other passion that runs in me concurrently still. I’m more fascinated now than ever by the truth that who we are on some fundamental level is who we are, and by just how powerful it can be to rediscover and honor that in ourselves toward living satisfying, authentically contributory lives. Thanks for encouraging us to remember our 8-year-old selves.
I completely agree. You are welcome.
Lovely Kathleen! I remember I saw myself being a female baseball player. Although that obviously never happened, I believe it supplied me with the belief in the possibilities in which I continue to subscribe.
Wonderwoman was incubating.
I appreciate this opportunity to quietly reflect back to being 8, for your gentle guidance to the core of who we were and what we experienced around us that we wanted to shift-maybe even with a magic wand, Kathleen. Adults had already shown me too many instances of their cruel ways that I wanted very much to lift the lid on their mean, to bring love, compassion, joy to their lives. I was told, “You smash people’s dreams!” Because I existed, because I walked into the room, because I took a breath I smashed people’s dreams, I was a worthless piece of s&*&. So maybe, I wished I could be someone who could make people’s dreams come true. I witnessed how some of these adults could shape shift for others-be brutally cruel to me yet seemingly quite kind to others in the larger community-I wondered what I could do to help them sustain the “kinder” version of themselves. They seemed to demonstrate a capacity to shift into that mode with others. I know I definitely became driven to be the most perfect version of myself that I could possibly be and ultimately this “perfection” on my part never, ever altered their tortured/shape shifting ways. I could not ever alter their insides or ways of treating me. Years passed before I truly understood that I was not the source of their pain, anguish, tortured ways. And I now know that my deepest passions remain compassion, courage, love, and freedom. No surprise that a huge vision for “Helping People Thrive” gets me out of bed in the morning. #CherishYourWorld #LoveYourSpaceLoveYourLife #Transformations No accidents….. Thank you for the opportunity to share honestly from the heart of my eight year old self and my grown up self, too.
Laura, you have certainly transcended your traumatic childhood to serve others. A poignant story, yet uplifting. I understand the wish to help a parent change or see the world differently, when the lesson seems to be more about our compassion and acceptance of our true self and mission and purpose in this life. My mother was very ill when she gave birth, and I was not reunited with her until I was 2 weeks old. My dad was on the front lines in Luzon Phillippines and survived mortar fire when a was a wee 1 week old. While I was loved, I understood years later that I had deep trust issues, having never fully bonded with either loving parent. For years I thought it was them, not my biology at work. It has been a driving force for me as well – building trust and being someone others can trust.
Katheleen, thank you for “forcing” me to look back and remember….oh yes……. I do remember……… I was perhaps 6 years old and the time when my family was living in a very specious British bungalow in a place called Kirkee in India. The river close by had just burst its banks and was beginning to engulfed the army barracks situated on the banks of the river. We could see the water rise and the panic that gripped the families that lived there. Without thinking, I jumped over our fence and rushed to help not considering the danger nor the wrath of my parents.. yes I remember……..was I foolish? Perhaps… but …
Fast forward, and having now served in humanitarian projects in over 30 countries, I find myself back in India contributing to the survivors of the ongoing flood here in India…… it has taken 64 years since my first experience…. I am blessed.
It is beautiful that it was your innate response to think of others and continued to do so. How fortunate for many.
What a gentle and thoughtful read, Kathleen. I remember dreaming about the stars and wondering how we all fit in it, seriously. I asked constant questions surrounding that topic. I thank you for you taking me to my 8-year-old me.
It is lovely to remember the gentle, loving, accepting and curious child who has always been there and still is. I appreciate your memories.
I would love to hear what others were promising when they were about 8.