25 Years in America

Living in the United States for 25 years has profoundly shaped my identity. Despite maintaining strong ties to my homeland, the experience of spending a quarter-century in a foreign land has been both enriching and transformative.

The United States, often referred to as the land of immigrants, holds a special place for a lot of people around the world, including myself. Immigrants who shaped this country bring with them a spirit of adventure, resilience, and an undying drive for a better life. This nation’s diverse tapestry is woven with the threads of countless stories of individuals leaving behind the familiar to embrace the unknown and  I love this country because of it. It always felt like it is the best melting pot and the most welcoming country to all kinds of people.

Having lived here and pondered the origins of countless advancements, it comes as no surprise to me that those who dare to take risks to start a new life also venture into the world of new ideas and innovations.

I do not think it is a coincidence that many inventions happen here and many successful companies start here.

My personal journey in the United States began at the age of three when my father, a medical doctor, came to Massachusetts General Hospital for work. Those two years in Boston left an undeniable mark on him, influencing not just his career but also his worldview. As a family, we returned to Turkey, yet my father’s stories of our American experience continued to shape my upbringing. He would always tell stories of strength, hard work, humbleness that he witnessed here.  When I came to live here in my adult life, many of his stories made it easier for me to adapt.

One of the rare moments that left a lasting impression on me from those two years was when my kindergarten teacher took me to the library. I always believe it was a pivotal moment that ignited my love for books, and to this day, it remains my earliest and most cherished memory from that age. That silent and calm feeling of a library paired with the smell of the books stayed with me.

Growing up in Istanbul, I was immersed in American culture through education at a private American school. From there, I pursued higher education at Bosphorus University, where most of my coursework was conducted in English, further solidifying my connection to the American way of life.

Imagine someone who yearns to read every book within the confines of her school library—an array of stories taking place in United States. Now envision this individual growing up under the influence of American educators. That person was me. From the age of 11 to 22, I was immersed in an environment shaped by an American mindset.

At age 18, I revisited the United States, staying with family friends in Boston. Over the years, my ties to this country deepened, to continue with my professional career at IBM.

My experience at a youth camp in Italy during my college years left a deep impression on me. Surrounded by 66 other young individuals from diverse backgrounds and different countries, we shared camaraderie and enjoyed memorable moments together. This encounter ignited within me a longing to live in a place rich in diversity—a desire to experience that sense of global community in my own life. For me, the United States was the natural choice. Where else could I find such a harmonious coexistence of people from around the world, living together happily and peacefully, without bias?

The decision to immigrate permanently, however, came later through the Diversity Lottery program, offering an opportunity for a new chapter in our lives.

The transition wasn’t without its challenges. Both my husband and I had to quit our prestigious well-paying jobs, reboot our careers, accepting positions below our qualifications. Yet, fueled by a desire for new experiences and opportunities for our son, we embraced the uncertainty.

Being in the United States also strengthened my connection to my roots. I felt a sense of responsibility to represent my home country and our culture in the best possible light. I volunteered at several Turkish American associations to build a House of Turkiye, to start a Turkish school for our children not to forget their roots, to get our community together here in San Diego and to help kids in need in Turkiye.

Starting from scratch in the United States and building our lives from the ground up has been a transformative journey. It made us grow since we were out of our comfort zone. Nothing forces you to find your strength as leaving all your identities and what is familiar behind.

Our journey in America has been marked by highs and lows. Only first generation immigrants can understand what it means to feel “in between”. You are too far away from family yet you build your own family in your chosen new home. You miss your country and some ways of living so you go back and forth trying to capture what is best in both. I also feel it is our luck to be immersed in two very different cultures. You see there is no one way of living.

As I reflect back on my 25-year journey in the United States, I find myself embracing a blend of admiration and gratitude for the experiences I’ve encountered. I have a deep affection for Americans. We’ve witnessed the resilience and compassion of the American people, particularly during times of adversity such as natural disasters. Through my friendships with them, I’ve gained invaluable insights. Observing their parenting methods has made me a better parent, as I meld their approaches with my own cultural values. Moreover, I’ve built friendships with individuals from diverse backgrounds, just as I had envisioned. Immersed in the “yes, we can do anything” attitude of Americans, I’ve embraced a mindset of thinking bigger. This newfound perspective propelled me to become a business owner. As someone who loves learning from various viewpoints, I find myself in a state of bliss since I get to hear perspectives of people with diverse backgrounds.

Yet, alongside these sentiments, there exists a profound desire and hope for our nation to serve as a beacon of inspiration for the world. It’s important to recognize that when challenges arise within this country, it’s not just Americans who feel disheartened; it’s also the countless individuals worldwide who have long admired what America symbolizes. I was that person before I came here.

While I’ve come to appreciate the country’s diversity and spirit of innovation, I’ve also grappled with issues such as racism and social division.

Looking ahead, I harbor both hopes and concerns for the future of this nation and the world at large. I wish for a more unified society, where empathy and collaboration prevail over division.

I wish we have a clear vision of where we are headed and who we want to be. I work with individuals and corporations alike to get clear in their identity, their purpose and their vision. I want the same for my chosen country. Today I do not see a clear vision and purpose that unites us all and I know it is possible.

The trajectory of our world, marked by climate change, evolving work dynamics that bring instability to countless people’s lives, persistent income inequality, job insecurity, and the prioritization of profit over human wellbeing, fills me with concern. Due to my work I hear real stories of real people; the struggle is real. It is hard to predict where we will end up with all these changes. Additionally, the challenge of financial planning for longer lifespans adds to the uncertainty. I strongly believe these pressing issues demand a collaborative effort from individuals across diverse fields—ranging from educators and engineers to sociologists and doctors, government officials, and philosophers—to tackle the complexities that lie ahead. I wish United States can take the lead and be an example to the world in these matters. It would have such a big positive impact since a substantial number of people around the world still look here for inspiration.

In the end, my journey embodies the immigrant experience—a blend of resilience, hope, patience and a relentless pursuit of a better life. Knowing that we were able to provide our son a better life fills me with a sense of parental satisfaction. As I look towards the future, I hold onto hope that the next 25 years will bring about brighter days for all of us.