by Tom Triumph, Featured Contributor
Well, when I say, “struck by lightning,” I mean a metaphorical bolt. Here’s what happened.
One fall day in California, twenty some years ago, I’d woken up just before dawn. My daughter, who was about three years old at the time, typically would wake up shortly after sunrise, so thinking this was a good opportunity to let my wife sleep in (for a change), I walked down the hallway and sat down on the floor outside my daughter’s bedroom door. I didn’t want to wake her early, so leaned against the hallway wall and watched her sleeping in the crib.
As the first rays of light were just starting to lighten her room, she slowly began to move about. In a few minutes, she’d kicked off the blanket, sat up, and was quietly talking to herself. It was like music to me. I stayed hidden in the hallway, just watching and listening to her. I remember being completely filled with awe and love.
She had no idea I was watching her. Eventually she climbed out of her crib and walked to her bedroom window and moved the drape aside. Looking outside at the sunlight just starting to light the day, she said out loud -“ohh, woww.”
ZAPP! That was the first lightning strike.
It was the sound of sublime enchantment. I remember feeling like I’d witnessed something very rare. A child’s awe of the day that lay ahead.
Several years later, while living in New Jersey, I’d again woken up just before dawn. My son at this point was about three years old.
And yes, the story is ex-act-o-ly the same.
I was sitting outside his bedroom door, waiting for him to wake up so we could start the day and let his mom get some needed rest. Eventually he woke up, climbed out of his crib, went to his window and looked outside at the fall day. He said (and I swear to you) the exact same words out loud – “ohh woww.”
FLASH! Second lightning strike. It was once again the sound of wonder, and once again it felt like I was observing a rare insight.
At this point, both of my kids are well on their way to adulthood. My son is in college and my daughter graduated a few years ago.
Of course, I’ve learned a lot of things by being their dad; beginning with how they greeted the day may years ago. And over the years, I’ve tried to teach them some things too.
Here are some things, in no particular order, that my wife and I told our kids over the years. I’m not sure how many took root, but if repetition counts… believe me, there’s a good shot.
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1. Put down you smart phone
The phone isn’t making you smarter. Actually, it’s slowly draining your attention from more important things (even noticing the clouds) through constant pings that have conditioned many of your peers (certainly not you) into a knee-jerk immediacy of constantly checking. Remember, you control the technology (or communication). Don’t let the technology (or communication) control you.
2. Learn to say “no”
This may actually be easier for a kid, and harder for an adult (remember when you refused to eat spinach). So, maintain your ability to say “no.” You’ll avoid wasting time doing things you don’t want to do.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t be open to trying new things – like spinach. Rather it’s more about building up an indifference to peer pressure.
3. Take things always by their smooth handle
Thomas Jefferson said that, and to me it means… don’t make things more difficult than they need to be.
4. Write down your goals
As corny as it sounds… it helps to actually write your goals down. An article in Forbes talks about a Harvard study in which Harvard graduate students with written goals made twice as much money as their fellow students without written goals. I noticed the word “money” caught your attention.
Well, actually it turns out the study is folklore.
But c’mon, you don’t need a study to prove to you that writing down your goals (and remembering to look at them) works. Every building ever built, every car ever manufactured and every rocket that put something into space… had a written plan and drawings describing what was needed to succeed. (caveat: that shed in the back of your grandfather’s yard did not have written plan).
5. Do hard things
You’re capable of doing big things. We all are. And doing big things is fun (and hard).
6. Make good friends and help them
Be the kind of friend you’d want someone to be to you. James Altucher talks about treating people as though you secretly know today is their last day on earth. Treat everyone with kindness and consideration.
Make them better because they know you.
7. Be kind and smile
The simplest thing you can do to make the day better for you and everyone around you.
8. The world is a small place. The universe is a big place
You’re now living in a world where much of the world is connected. And that can have far-reaching implications.
Scientists estimate there’s between 200 – 400 billion stars (that’s a B) in our galaxy – the Milky Way. And it’s a pretty normal sized galaxy. And there’s between 100 – 200 billion galaxies (that’s another B) in the universe. That calculates to (hmm, getting my calculator out) a 6 followed by twenty-two zeroes. I don’t even know what that means, but it’s a big place. Allow me to do another calculation… if EVERY second you could count one Billion stars, you could count all the stars in the universe in just… 1,900,000,000,000,000 years. My head just exploded.
The good news is, your brain is the most complex thing known in the universe – and yippee… you’ve got one. It’ll help you figure things out, and there’s lots to learn.
9. Work hard
No matter what you do in life, going the extra mile (and likely then some) is the key to creating opportunities and moving you along the journey.
10. Work smart
This is the key to considering you’re creating the right opportunities for your unique journey.
11. Learn every day
According to the Smithsonian Magazine, there’s about 37.2 trillion cells in your body, and you body is constantly replacing old cells with new ones at the rate of millions per second. You get smarter and grow every year. When someone graduates high school, they’re a different person from when they started. Then, when they graduate college, they’re a very different person from when they started college. And for those that don’t go to college, they’ll still grow and be a different person from all they learn in the working world.
Even though learning is a natural thing for kids to do, believe it or not, it’s easy for adults to stop learning.
Do your dear dad a favor. Don’t stop learning. Learn so much that you become a better person every several years.
12. Don’t compare yourself to others
There’s over 7 billion people in the world, but there’s only one you.
13. Call home
14. Don’t believe in dogma
You’ll hear a lot of things that probably don’t make sense to you. That’s your brain doing its thing. Proceed with a rational mind (even things on this list).
15. Be blind towards race or color
This is so obvious from a scientific and philosophical considerations that I don’t even know what to write.
16. Don’t be afraid to be embarrassed
Peer pressure can be hard to disregard. Everyone wants to be cool. Nobody wants to look bad.
The best way to never be embarrassed is to never try anything that has a chance of failing. But that’s an express train to the little town of mediocrity (kids, I know when you’re rolling your eyes).
If you study the greats, you’ll see they all were focused on their dream, and had a healthy disregard for always wanting to look cool.
17. Believe in science (and don’t forget love)
This isn’t to say science is always right, but it works pretty dang well.
18. Follow the golden rule
Your grandmas were right… “Treat other people like you want to be treated.”
19. Don’t concern yourself with following the herd
20. Work at being better every day
21. Exercise
We were made to move, and you should do so daily.
Want proof? How many times have you heard lyrics playing through the house “Tramps like us, baby we were born to run.” Thank you Bruce.
22. Eat healthy
Just one of the many “do as I say, not as I do.”
23. Create more than you consume
It’s easy to consume too much content. It’s not all bad (most of it is). But remember to spend more time creating content than consuming. Creation is the act by which you learn and grow.
25. Participate more than cheer
Better to be out running in the rain by yourself, then cheering for a distant sports team playing on the television. “How ’bout those Cobras?”
25. Remember to say “ohh woww.”
Let yourself be awed by the day. Yes, I stole that lesson from my kids. (Love and adore you both. – Dad)
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Special note to the reader: Should you meet my kids, do not listen to their tales of how their dad doesn’t do many of the above. Rather, you may laugh heartily (in their presence) knowing even grown children are prone to great exaggeration.