Since February is traditionally called the month of love, I saw a quote recently from Liam Neeson that made me think long and hard about what love really means. You may recall Liam is an actor, and his actor wife died after a skiing accident several years ago.
“Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.” – Liam Neeson
This quote really resonated with me. When I look back on my own past, and in speaking with friends who have loved and lost, I think we are all afraid to step out there and love again. We are afraid we will only be hurt again. We are all afraid of love! However, if we find the right love, then we will truly be happy again.
Ahhh, now I get it!
I do know some couples who are extremely happy. And, the extreme happy is truly where I, and all others afraid of love really want to be. We want to be happy.
Yet, I do know people who have settled, only because they did not want to be alone. In that case, are they really happy? I think not!
But, each of us starts to get close to someone we like, and ‘boom,’ we back off. I know I do! Do you? In addition, we have all probably pushed away love that could have been the right one for us.
Isn’t it amazing what happens when the light bulb comes on? So, what do we do now? I did a little bit of research to find out something we all need to know and steps we can take to find our true love.
First, let’s discover some things to help find people we can possibly love. Second, let’s understand once we meet someone, what are the 3 main components to knowing chemistry is there. Lastly, what are the signs to know we are really in love?
How to Find Someone to Start the Journey
Love requires you to reveal your true self to another; to love at all is to be vulnerable.
We want unconditional love. We all make mistakes and we want to be accepted even with the mistakes we have made.
Leave the past in the past. Leave negative feelings and past heartbreaks just where they should be, in the past.
Remember, you won’t meet someone new in your living room.
Try new venues.
Online singles chat rooms are an option.
Take a class.
Tell your friends you are looking.
Go to parties and attend events.
Give the person you meet a chance.
Ditch the ‘must have’ list.
Look outside of your perceived ‘type.’
Remember, time is on your side. There is no need to rush a relationship.
Take time to get to know the person before meeting family and kids.
It should be all about getting to know each other first.
Once You Meet Someone, there are 3 Main Components to Attraction
Sexual attraction leads to passion.
You initially cannot get over this person. The attraction is overwhelming.
You want your feelings to be reciprocated.
Intimacy leads to attachment.
Intimacy creates closeness and connectedness.
Bonding and feeling safe is a good thing.
Intimacy takes time and patience to develop.
It implies a lot of talking and disclosure.
It requires walls to come down from previous hurts.