Ever been caught in a negative spiral? Ever get yourself so worked up that your emotions start to get the best of you? You’re sooo not alone and here’s a great technique to use the next time you’re caught in a loop of negativity.
‘This is mine’ is not the same as ‘this is me.’
We have all felt anger, stress, anxiety, resentment, apathy, fear, frustration, guilt, or embarrassment at one time or another. It’s part of the human journey. And while it’s important to acknowledge your feelings so you can fully & responsibly process through them [this is mine], it’s also important to acknowledge that these feelings themselves don’t define you [these feelings are not the whole me].
Think of it as the difference between “I feel bad” versus “I am bad.” “I feel angry” versus “I am an angry person.”
You’re human. You’ll get triggered. Something will happen that will cause you to react. Your reaction doesn’t define you. Your response does.
A key aspect of self-leadership is managing your more sensitive emotions so you don’t get looped into a longer state of negativity than necessary. A helpful technique is to practice detachment AFTER you’ve processed your emotions.
For example, after you’ve fully acknowledged a more sensitive emotion, your Self-talk might sound like…
- “I can get through this feeling. It won’t last forever.”
- “I don’t need to act now from this state of negativity. I can wait to respond.”
- “I am much more than this feeling.”
- “This feeling is here to teach me what I need to do to move forward in a healthier way.”
- “I can fully process this feeling and then re-center myself before I act.”
Self-awareness is a practice. The more we practice it the better we get at leading ourselves into a healthy grounded state of being.
So the next time you get caught in a negativity loop, bring your feelings to the surface, fully acknowledge them and then remind yourself, “These feelings are mine, but they do not wholly define me.”
The moment you remind yourself of this truth, the moment you can start to let go of your negativity more easily.
Peace and hugs,